Chapter 4: Be Unpopular
The basic principle of this chapter is to stay true to yourself instead of becoming a people pleasing drone — which society conditions us to be.
Stop seeking popularity
We are conditioned from a very young age that we should be popular (whatever that even means). Trying to fit in is normal and part of human nature; however, when fitting in morphs into popularity seeking — making decisions that go against our personal convictions (i.e. gossiping, backstabbing, and so on) turning us into people pleasing drones. Think, Mean Girls.
Instead of popularity (with the wrong crowd), surround yourself with like-minded people who respect, love, and admire you for who you are — no need to compromise yourself.
Standing up for yourself
You know that moment when you are talking about something you are really passionate about, and your friend is either physically disapproving or verbally disapproving. Like, you can’t do that or you aren’t strong enough for that. Yes, we have all had those moments.
So, how should you handle this on your journey to your dream? Confront your friend and try to understand why they are being unsupportive by asking “Why do you feel that way?”
Listen. Try to understand where they are coming from. They may just be challenging you which is a great quality. On the flip side, they may be trying to keep you from reaching your goal which is not a good thing. Either way, you have to evaluate how this effects you on your journey.
“Surround yourself with people who edify, inspire, encourage, and challenge.”
Making decisions for yourself
When you are working toward your dream, you have to make sacrifices. Sometimes, those sacrifices may include bowing out of events with friends. It sucks, but sometimes you have to stay home instead of going out, you have to work instead of play. Your friends may call you a “fuddy duddy,” but you have to be willing to be unpopular to reach your goal.
Your like-minded friends will understand, and if they don’t, oh well.
Basically, when we allow our self-worth to be decided by others (including our friends and family), we compromise ourselves, our dreams, and our happiness — so don’t give others the power to your happiness.
Activity: Don’t know what you are looking for in a friend? Try creating a “friend” job posting. Make a list of all the qualities you look for in the people around you.
This is the start to my list:
- Funny, keeps me laughing